“Decline”

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Decline
  

In pieces that daily tear off the main piece, in tiny but significant bits all the way, maybe cellular bits per minute, I watched helplessly and haplessly as a good soul and body separate..Even the doctors have gone through their routine, they have reached within and without but timelessly and countlessly failed their cause…

In shameless defiance of every belief and sanity in me, now stripped and void of cowardice, I made the call, the very last of my human estimations to have it fixed or broken forever…

It is so easy to write a story that you live in daily, to share a narrative that reflects your reality; something you cannot run away from, like a shadow that lurks around you…

The call to prayer, a bitter-sweet moment, now give less respite to me, I loathe every second yet constantly and endlessly straying into this cyclic rite. The truth is I was just done with stretching,  I am  torn, broken to my spine, I am spent and ultimately sore! 

I see pieces of me leave…I am  worn! Worn from a glaring and seemingly hopeless ordeal; really sad and gloomy

I have daily declined reclining into sour bliss but now stripped of all cowardice and sentimental rationale I make the call for it to be fixed or broken forever!

I hope you see me Decline?

In shameless defiance of every belief and sanity in me, now stripped and void of cowardice, I make the call, the very last of my human estimations to have it fixed or broken forever…

Doctors have failed their cause, pain and shame have gained the upper hand; diagnosis remain critical and life is slowly drained…

I have daily declined, reclining into sour bliss but now stripped of all cowardice and sentimental rationale I make the call for it to be fixed or broken forever!

I hope you see me naked; my daily decline? please be inclined to me now.

No struggle…given!

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I surrender, I lift my hands up, I surrender in reverent Awe!

I give up, I yield, I stand stuporized by your committed love, mesmerized by the details of your plan in the midst of this pain, strain and stains!

I surrender because  I remember in December, you spoke while we were together in the unity of broken worship that you never stopped watching, looking through, keeping tab on me, on us.

“Eternal provider, bloody and beautiful, almighty mighty …giver of life itself… Sweet Savoury love, lover and King maker”

I hear you in the tunes, the scrolls, the testimonies of the an infallible testament…I will look to the hills from whence my help comes!

To you now… In tears of truth and a purged conscience, I surrender!

“Even if the world thinks me mad or otherwise, it don’t matter…bloody and beautiful cross!”

Making scarlet snow pure, Snow White…I surrender!

I surrender to yours not mine…totally given this time to you, waiting on your beam; flood my thoughts with light from these holy scrolls, cleanse my reins and fill my heart.

“Break of Dawn”

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It’s one of those nights again when everything feels quieter than ever and the vast stillness of the dark is beyond what I might call pervasive, maybe rather invasive, probably akin to what we had before Genesis chapter-one made it all different! On my bed, just at a corner, in an entirely dark 3-bedroom neo-fashion bungalow apartment, on the city side in a west African state, with ears plugged to the sweet noise from my choiced music playlist, a conscious attempt  to numb the web of loud wrecking thoughts; largely about daily struggles, issues of spirituality, health, pain, setbacks amongst a host of other unspeakable worries… Notwithstanding, I am in a world of cherished difference, where pain and grief are kept frozen, however transient this goodly bite feels, “it counts, as long as I am here alone, not hungary nor ill, just here, a victor over this very moment, this very now, this darkness!”

“Until break of dawn, I am determined to steer this one-man crew through to a sustained conquest”  but this isn’t aeonian… It’s just a matter of hours and my realities will tap on the morning door, like the heavy knock on a wooden door by an old woman begging for red apples to stay alive…just that nagging nuisance you get when your  interrupted from a reverie about dinner in a king’s palace!

So tonight, making the best of the time I have decided to give a voice to my silence, dare the odds of making a new history of my secret hurts, give all these darkness some light, some exposure!

Yes, I’m deciding to purge my young heart and soul of envious comparisons, detesting my cancerous ignorance of life’s irrepressible control of opportunities and provisions; a gamble of fate and faith all in one baffling twist even to professed erudites and scholars!

Dwelling in the epiphany of the moment while carving out decisions in moulds and casts of penitence, forgiveness and pledges of no regret, I totally careless about how many hearts will bleed, how many cords will break, I actually love the way this burns!

If you are  at this crossing, this darkness… And it feels like a life is over, it isn’t at all, you just started living… In fact you have just aced life’s test!

I could write on and on, leaving you with winding and twisting details of this plot but this ends here because the summary is that your break of dawn is your choice and it’s waiting to be re-written by you!
NB: image sourced via google images 

“little man”

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He climbed a tree to find his dreams, not caring what season it was, because he was not about the fruits of the tree but his own fruiting.

He saw the people all like Giants and opposers of his pursuit but he persevered and hoped against hope on the giver of hope and life 

Strinkingly, the little man was on the watchers list, It simply became the timeliest conincidence!

How do we stay on the tree,Meet our hope giver and click on the moment of change? 

How do we ignore the Giants face odds and win our lives?

How do we not cry to men but to the watcher?

How do we move mountains and leap over valleys ?

How do we fly and stay high enough like little zach?

How do we do this and not despair?
NB: image found at http://www.jameshance.com 

“Awakening”

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Just like the morning wakes upon the dawn of a new day, I wake from this slumber and delusions that ravage my sanctity, a cause of my nagging insanity!

I find that groping in this dark wearied me often because many-times too often I give in to vanities that soil the soul!

I have felt broken and wounded, daily bleeding from sores of yesterday and even today… I have shed endless tears from failures and struggles within!

I lost friends and made foes, now too easily condemned, criticized and mocked…

Indeed standing in the way of vile men, sitting with the scoffers killing faith…

I have put pen to paper, moistened by dark ink because you had to read this piece, a story inspired by a destiny and a purpose preserved…

To tell a true tale, haply I might save a failing conscience, a bleeding heart, a dying soul, an unstable mind…

It ultimately ends in a love story; a promise to steer on and spin life’s wheel with you no matter how dark it seems or feel…

  yes void of light or any hope as it may seem; stormy and windy, even fettered by a self-brewed unbelief and subconscious yielding of your members to concupiscence… 

But It’s a testament, an oath, a covenant to make you gold worthy at the last assembly; that congregation of pure men

The crux of the matter is to rekindle the hope to do right and earn life, daily changing , daily saving and daily winning
NB:Images sourced from http://www.google.com

Black & white 

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So says the sound of the clock; tick and tock

And the rising and setting of the sun; or tidal waves , rise and fall…

It’s a sweet and sour taste, honey in the mouth but bitter warm wood in the stomach

Rainfall and sunshine, winter and summer…

Noise and silent calm,light and dark …

All making for the beautiful contrast, spelling the boundaries, no in betweens 

No grey shades, just light or darkness with Him

Just right or wrong with Him

Just true or false, just black or white! 

The rythm of nature speaks clearly of the sides; death or life !

Head or tail, lost or found, broken and mended!

Make or female; man and woman

It’s a black and white, no greys, no shades of grey!

It’s clear in faith or fear, blind or sighted!

A walk through paths undefined within the right and wrong boundaries will do no good!

It is black and white here, in my soul, my heart, my head…

Stay clear if you have got the ” grey-fever”

It’s either on the narrow or Broadway… This voyage !
“Image sourced from Google “

“face of love “

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I write about Love and life, they are altogether the reason to live…

It’s the highest form of beauty to wear the face of love, it glows with hope, smiles with faith and grins with joy

So in the face of pain,war, poverty, hunger and starvation…

In the face of hopelessness,worry and tribulation
At the verge of shameful disgrace, because all you can hear from near and afar are the voices of scoffers and haters… 
At that point when it feels better to die than to live on unachieved, at that very tipping point, when all of your path is crooked and undulating with mounts and vales…
Check within and find a reason to love something or someone, maybe seemingly unlovable and if your in luck, you may have reckoned wrongly, it maybe quite a lovable being or passion or art… 
Something or someone to live and die for, s dream to dream, a vision to see, a burden to bear, a weight to lift, a tear to cry!
The “little-boy” lived and died for his faith… He steered the winds against all odds and the unseeable one , invisible and invincible reached out through the hands of the clock, fixed his hurt and changed his name!
I was weakened to sweet tears when I see how love ravages and revenges hate… It sickens me when friends and family flout the opportunity to stay committed to blood, when those you dare to die for, trivialize your commitment to them and make common the communion you seek with them… 
Again I say love to die and live for love!
Images source :Google  images 

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