Just hours ago i felt hearts leap
Just minutes ago I felt hearts burn
Just seconds ago I felt hearts cry
Just in a moment I felt a heartbeat
Just now, exactly now, a soul has died!
…once upon a time,
Maybe just a few days back, or a few weeks, perhaps months now, behind close doors, away from peering eyes and sniffing noses, in the most stealthy and surreptitious composure,low-toned conversations brewed as we stringed infatuations hinged on mutually deceitful lust…
passion flowed and emotions rumbled, we fondled and fiddled; flesh without and within but largely in wishful lustful reveries…
However described, in those golden moments of careless reckless caution, we fixed broken cycles, circled round wanton urges and bruised the propriety of sanity…
we staged a play of Romeo and Juliet, in the realest of time and presence of day!
Caring about nothing, bothering about nothing, nothing right or wrong, nothing proper or improper, we simply made a bliss of lust.
But today, our sun is darkened, our moon is sorely burned and shy, hid from our faces just as our rivers are washed away and pleasure has become no treasure at all!
Indeed all these lovers have lost their savor and the pain of loneliness eats subtly but deep within… like a budding sore, aging tooth hurts deeply, so does vanity prevail!
Having pledged a new leaf to tell the sour tale of wounded lovers, broken cisterns and hateful hearts…
A tale of truths and dares, staring at cupid’s mask, to decrypt intents and skewed motives, to rip off from lonely souls, unsolicited amorous pleasures gendering ultimately to seared consciences and metaphysical anathema.
I was the ”white princess” revered and sacred for chastity but became scarlet when i reached, searched and plunged into the depths of strange thoughts… i strayed into desires that left me in the cycle of lascivious indulgence…
This became my story, my darkness, my impurity and discoloration…
NB:image sourced from www.google.com
When beauty glows it’s brightest; wearing her brightest and most cheerful smile…
Amidst these tingling sparkles, a radiant resplendence of hope assured warms my black skin…
No chills this time, just warmth within to numb tearful hearts and broken spirits…
In reverie of paradise but locked in a maze of life’s realities, I am left with this choice to steer on…
Reflecting on purpose and value, an exchange for destiny’s quest to come true…
Your most pleasant voice in the ears of my memories, useful melodies in sync with my desires for remedies to open wounds of yesterday…
Now today at midday, I simply surrender, i yield completely to only your promises…
Reckoning that life happens only when you allow, that pain comes and goes and that you have never slept nor slumbered for me…
That your watchful eyes are always open as well as your giving and keeping hands…
It’s all yours, take all the glory, take all the praise…you get the honour!
í աíղ ҽѵҽղ ահҽղ í հɑѵҽ ƒɑӏӏҽղ !
í rմղ աíld ҽѵҽղ ահҽղ í ƒҽҽl աɑղ!
í ɑʍ ƒíҽɾϲҽ ҽѵҽղ ահҽղ եհis ƒմɾղɑϲҽ ҍմɾղs հօե !
í ɑʍ ցɾҽɑեҽɾ , í ɑʍ աíղղҽɾ ɑղժ ϲհɑʍթíօղ !
í ϲհɑղե եհҽde ѵíϲեօɾվ songs!
í ɑʍ ահíեҽ yet so ҍӏɑϲƙ ɑղժ թմɾҽ!
í ɑʍ ƙíղց ɑղժ í ɑʍ ցօժ!
ɑ թɾíղϲҽ ҍҽվօղժ ʍվ ɑƒɾíϲɑ, ɑ ʍɑSter ɑղժ ѵíɾեմօso !
եհís ís ʍվ ժҽϲlaration…í stɑղժ մղժҽƒҽɑեҽժ, մղժҽƒíled ɑղժ ɾesolutely ժҽƒíɑղե!
í ɑʍ 25!
í զʍ ѵíϲեօɾ!
I am love!
í ɑʍ Leo!
I am Gold!
NB:Image sourced from Instagram
This time I won’t take for granted the bright morning sunshine born out of a lengthy dark night… From the very fangs and claws of the night’s dragon, a faceless fierce-some beast eating deep into thoughts that death might come upon suddenly!
However awaking to a ray of hope locked in the sunshine that beamed across my little corner of Africa, on my bed of straw and hay… I am in awe or better still mesmerized by the style you have presented for my rescue and timely respite!
I walked out as though to make a flight on life’s runway, yonder… Farther and even further beyond walls and mountains all mound-like today, just because you spoke in the still of the morning, in a breathy tweet ; “I love you son”
My frail heart, my soured soul, my bitter tongue, my ailing flesh, my untruthful self , my unreliable words, all of these… Yet you love me?
How could you persevere? How could you consider? How did you make this choice? I thought you were a might fire, a God, a true king, the maker, creator… I did think so…
But you said those words in the simplest of harmonic melody, the softest of tone and the truest of words… “I love you son”
Okay I agree, I believe, frankly ,I reckon you gave me a royal pardon but this becomes a burden, a task and worry all at once to stay on the good side of the book, to keep all ten, all ten !
Now I don’t know how to but should I go on to trust you have a plan ? Do I just walk tall and free father? Have I not stripes to receive ? Anyway you know best, I give that to you because I might have a clue how you made the choice, you must have seen my new heart, the new spirit you left in me, the renewed mind and resilient love… Although I made all these vows in the secret place where you yourself found me, led me… Oh oh I see it’s all been you here…
In the shadows, the winds, the storms, the rains, the rare winter and cheerful spring! You are just ubiquitous! So all over !
I am flushed, flabbergasted and altogether spellbound by you…I surrender, I would listen, please say it again lord, just once, serenade my senses, numb my weaknesses and cure my malady with those words again like you said this morning “I love you son”
Indeed I’ll fly on this runway to glories beyond worries, please steer me on !
NB-image sourced and edited from anonymous instagram post
yes…it’s now a few decades, hooked on this love in overdose…
Indeed tongue tied,even speechless yet unashamed father…
how so kindly your desires have outplayed my resilient errant outrage…
in a charmed repressive cyclic disposition, re-crucifying you amidst consistent ingratitude and my petty pervasion..
you know me very deeply and truly, yet so incomprehensibly stir me aright…
Within and beyond a score and decade,you have kept the odds in my undeserving favour…
in this overwhelming reality, i strip my thoughts of vanity tonight and in tearful joyous surrender, i write you this psalm…
even if i were to walk the green mile, i would be grateful for thus far…
i love you lord, i humbly do over and over again!
Image sourced from Google
I HAVE WATCHED THE HISTORY TAPES AND READ THE SCROLLS…
THERE HAD ALWAYS BEEN BLOODSHED BIRTHING LEADERSHIP…
YET BLOOD HAD NEVER BIRTH PEACE, IT HAS BEEN A STING OF TRIBALISM, NEPOTISM, MENTAL SLAVERY OF THE INDIGENT AND UNEDUCATED MASSES…
SEGREGATION, RACIAL AND RELIGIOUS…
I BELIEVE WE MUST BIRTH A NEW WAY, A NEW VISION, A NEW APPROACH, WE MUST LET THE VOICE OF OUR CONSCIENCES SPEAK, WE MUST ALLOW THE HARMONIES IN THE MELODIES OF OUR CRY FOR CHANGE RESONATE…
WE MUST STIR THE HEARTS OF THE CHILDREN TO JUSTICE, EQUITY AND PEACEFUL STRIDES…WE WHO ARE TODAY, OLD OR YOUNG MUST DARE THE ODDS, STOOP TO CONQUER HATE, POVERTY, TYRANNY AND DISHONESTY…
WE MUST TAKE THE LEAP OF FAITH…
WE MUST EMBRACE A NEW RELIGION, NEW CHALLENGES, WE MUST BE SINCERE AT EVERY LEVEL OF OUR ENDEAVOR, WE MUST FIX THIS DUNGHILL, WE ARE THE PEOPLE, WE ARE THE CHANGE, NO PARTIES, NO POLITICS, NO RULER , NO LEADER, NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU AND I!
image sourced from Google images
It’s beautiful…in my ears
My soul is flushed and refreshed as the soft sounds push through my walls
It’s divine; a ritual so spiritual
My sadness is bruised and crushed
Her gentle glide slide through my sides
Like a sweet savoury aroma her melodies wipe my hurt
Tears so warm and slow treacle down my cleansed face
It’s beautiful…in my eyes
I see her robes of harmonic notes and colors
A rhythm undeniably melodious
All i want is your gentle continuous caress…
All i want is the sweetness of your voice
All i want is all of you
Your tender touch that chills my heart and hurt
Your dance and breathe taking beats that beat my pain
All i need is you…food to my soul!
Like natures pleasant noise
Like the gushing sound of a cascade
Like the chirping of morning birds
Like the distant cry of a human child
Like the whistling of a budding wind
Like the hissing of a mamba
Like the moaning of young lovers
I find you in every breathe
I find you in every whisper
I find you on every lip
I find you everywhere
Your beauty thrill my senses
Your beauty give me hope
Your sounds are immensely pleasurable
In measures i never want to let go
Oh music,stay with me forever!
Who sees love and turns away?
When it’s close enough to feel and hold
Time is still and hearts are numb
To the rhythm of broken bliss
Life is such a paradox
Only boxes colorful to play
The race’s begun to swiftly now
The music unfolds a dance
But nothingness is everything
If you’re not here with me
Who sees love and keeps apart?
When life itself is death without
All I have is yours
So long as you’re mine alone
Don’t stray into mazes
Where you’d be lost forever
In life we learn daily to be better persons by the decisions we dare to take, the experiences we dare to face and the compromises we dare to make
Like a path unending, we find the desires of our heart stray wild and yonder
Values are eroded as we practice to the fullest the lust that lurks about the corners of our heart
In the midst of this man craves endlessly and relentlessly to fill the vacuum
One that might be eternally be insatiable if filled with the vain philosophies that thrive in a world of hate and misrepresentation
So far the change factor becomes only what we decide to do as individuals who dare to stand in courage to speak for the poor, needy, sick, disabled, raped, abused, widows and fatherless
It all begins with you and I, running the race for those without the legs;
Climbing the trees for those without hands to feed;
Watching for the blind and listening for the deaf
Whilst we speak also for the good cause of the dumb
Facing the odds of criticism and cynical contempt
Here is purpose :
Adding values by creating good moral values even when none exist Living through our pain to exemplify hope and victory, daily and yearly
It is living by the rules of divinity and facing the truth with a disapproving stare at the seeming benefits of bad every compromise
It is giving hope with a smile and holding forth in life’s battlefield for fellow comrades and patriots
Distributing to all who need around us from the excess that we have by birth or our labor
May the good Lord find us, vessels to give and salvage in times of despair
Through acts of love and defiance to make good thrive by the estimates of a good conscience and yield to only the standards of unfeigned Love
(Dedicated To Men of Like Passion In The Struggle)
Sweet or sour
Cold or warm
On a day,
Sunny or rainy
In a place of
Peace or war
For reasons of
Black or white
Life or death
My taste of you
Salt and fresh
Pain or joy
Wet or dry
Till i am
Bones or flesh
Man or woman
I share the bliss of a lost kind
A contrast untapped
sealed and locked away in my nights of dreams
Like shrill sounds from gold and silver cymbals
I am but a wanton lover with tears of contrition and losses of yesterday’s loneliness
A walk on hurting feet alone on an aisle of parched grounds
If this complexities interest you like it does me
Then come my way in the sweetest disguise
Fix my pain and mix my dreams with realities
I may be young and old all at once for you
This is not a clarion cry for haters but for a gold lover
Fair at heart and lovable by looks
Eyes of a sea goddess
Skins like an infant’s
Voice like a nightingale’s
Worthy of heaven’s courts
Hair as wool
Breasts as a sculpted greek woman
All I want is you tonight
When other lovers lay in arms of one another
When the stars brightly shine
And the moon in a semi-glow beneath clouds of dark beauty
All I crave underneath my sheets of white
On a windy breezy tropical paced zephyr
In the still of the night
When heart beats sound like cacophony
Stay with me ,in my thoughts as I listen to pieces by James blunt & LightHouse
It’s a sad night without you
Still I lay to awake on the morrow to a hope that your appearing tarry no more
The percussion beats and xylophone sounded from the open market square
These sounds were sounds of mirth and joy
Every passerby’s delight became the afternoon scene
The women and children left their goods and moods, holding spoons,forks and knives
All pieces that could be clanged to resonate the beautiful piece of music
The palace drummers were present,the village music group came,
The maidens and young men also came at the hearing of the sounds that emerged from the people’s square of peace
They watched in awe,danced and whispered from the side, as the youngest and only prince of the king of peace ;
The bravest and most savored of the heirs of the Lord of Lords,
A king known of by all mighty men of valor
A king of all the kings of the east,west,north and south
They watched the Prince dance the royal dance alone on the arena of peace
He danced in style and smile
He danced clothed in gold to the king
He kissed the ring and scepter of the king
Whose presence could only be felt in the wind, fire and lightening
As the music played,this Prince danced for his king in gold shoes, diamonds and jewels
Then the king was moved and began to dance in a windy spiral around the prince
And his proclamations were of two words
The prince is now king and gold!
It was the 25th day of the 5th month of the year, a day when the people rejoiced !
It’s a gold party in my head now
All the sounds are gold and good
It’s a dream at day ,with butterflies in my belly
You gave me oil and wine
Without you am dead like the dead sea
Yet this moment is gold because it’s your song in my head
The very piece I wrote you on the night I got you
Stay again,stay with me now
I am obsessed and allowed
In deep reference for the awe of your presence giving essence to my very existence
It’s divine this feeling I can’t shout
Give it to me in all ways
The very touch that sparkles, I’m all yours today
In the finest,white linen vest and shiny armour of love
Shield of faith and wine of the spirit
Drunken in the overdose of your splendour
In my head, all in my heart
You have won me silly
Not for fools but wise men
Given to the supernatural
Traded ashes for beauty
Crowned with forgiveness in the lowest of moments
I can write this for ever
To the world across
Let nations see and read of your sweetest acts
I’ll blow you endless kisses of gratitude…
This feeling spills from the very hollow of my marrow
Life itself wants a piece of it ,a purity that souls can share and wear
Like garments of fine twisted pleats of gold
Every air I breathe ,I perceive the scent of your gentle and tender affections of love
And now like a wounded lion,I roar in pain yet wail as a child, craving for this divinity I fantasize of love
If the world knew a place of love,if there was a house of passion, if the seas were as oceans of love
If everything was gold,love would still be priceless
The value of her exceeds the riches of solomon; its purity than the purity of the circumcised
A love that’s sacred,virgin and untouched,one that a mere man can not give or value,surreal and utopian but ideal!
Love is eternity,love is spirit,love is soul,love is deity ,love is mighty!
Love is you
I fear for a separation from you
I need a translation,to search you out
Fill my thoughts and heal my wound
Mend my heart and cure my disease
Make me like you,don’t let go but most of all,let me find you
Where ever thou art ,for you’re life itself!
I did see it,with my eyes wide shut…
I stared in the dark,it was much of a bright-dark day
The gloomy picture was more vivid than the clarity and purity of crystal glass…
I did see our future in our present…seemed nearer and closer than today…
A glimpse,a piece,a brief,but just all I needed to press on…
I take my life again,in the hollow of my scarred palms,I press on with you
To a place of love and hope,health and wealth
Only men saved by pain and hurt, win and cheer…
I bid you,share with me,this splendour seen!
If you hurt and cry,wait and wipe the tears dry
Because there’s hope beyond these vales and scales
Gird your loins and forge ahead…
a pretty day ahead I know
Come with me now and ever…
I have a glimpse enough to share!
Please stay away and away truly! I don’t wanna even stare you in the face and this isn’t because you frighten me, hell no! Your attempts to ruin my blissful introspection sickens my very within, makes me want to erase you completely; like empty the recycle bin!
Now don’t you dare me because unlike you present, I grew wings, new eagle-feathers and I love that I look fly in my l leather and pleather mix. It’s been sort of a transfiguration for me amidst so many tribulations that I clearly find you blameworthy.
However if you so desperately desire my swell attention, if you do need me to give you a grin, you remember that grin? I would ask nicely that you undo yourself, maybe turn back the years and don’t forget to reverse the pain, the anguish, make sure they become mirthful for me. Tell me, did you think I wasn’t gonna defeat you when you tied him to some cyclic agony, sleeplessness amongst countless pills that left him blistered and scraggly emanciated; such brutality, atrocity and fiendish gesture to an old godly saintly man?
Okay it’s fine that now you need my company, you need to be in my reverie or night fantasies, but if I was to give attention, i mean like some space in my reveting cogitation, maybe grant you some mental asylum, what’s the guarantee you haven’t got some sinister scheme up your ever dirty sleeve, a sly machination or a plot to keep in some schizoid spiral bind; so slaved and gravely spunked?
well let’s get it straightened out here and now, I may have some regard for you because I did learn how not to be dejected, rejected and infected; Lessons I’d live to savour so admirably that would maybe become some dogma for posterity, Because all that counts now is the sincerity of my decision to live wisely, in integrity and enviable sanctity.
More importantly this is not just some cynical or vengeful push back but exactly how I feel about you being no good at all to me or anyone who got caught in your web, your wiles and subtle invasion. For the record 2000, I got baptised!I got saved! I did, even before there was any reason to worry about you altogether, I lost you to the crucifixion, and it’s no fiction, it’s real!
I live in this reality daily; a place of complete and absolute renewal, no withdrawals, no betrayal, just victories, endless conquests over hate, hurt, sickness, pain, shame and death! I ain’t afraid of you because this is the best part of my story, it’s vivid as diamond crystals not livid or some old-wife fable that ends up morbid.
Well this the much I get to say today, my ink’s dried up and I do need me some respite because at the end of the day, it’s beginning to seem like I have actually spared you some undue attention.
I have learned to be inspired amidst daring odds that daily present■I have learned that friendship is deliberate and forgiveness is compulsory for love to thrive■I have learned vision and wisdom make people legend■I have learned that peace prevails where love persists■I have learned that harmonies do not only colour melodies but they make for community and good livelihood■I have learned that good judgement becomes the result of critical listening evaluation of character and motive without prejudice■I have learned that men would sometimes need a second touch, a second look and a second chance altogether■I have only learned a few things these past few weeks!
In whatever nominalization it comes, it leaves us in effusive uncontrolled expression of emotions, emotions prejudiced in miriads of inclination. A spectrum of hues only bordered with the black and white scales…loads of grey inbetween, greys that blur the lines of sanity!
Once the holy scrolls said to be drunken but not with wine, asuch a permission to bask in that high for something but not just everything!
In a stillness that gives audibility to the very breathe of my nostrils and loudness to my heart drums, I find my thoughts totally violated by yet another momentary bliss, but please, don’t cast a stone! Yes, do spare me some ease because even right now as I write and you read, you likewise err in vile thoughts from a cascade-like flow of illicit desires, illicit indeed by the standard of the holy scroll.
Now you see why I resent these words; “feel”, “feelings”, “felt”. All her forms are not realms to dwell in for she gives undue credence to opinions that are largely feeble and flimsy, either for some good or bad! She is a leavening, a swelling, a spell, an apparition as a highway mirage! She flaunts real but lacks truth, that only vents vanity in volcanic strides!
I sat still, saw my shame in the solitude that became my transfiguration, I could almost tell the flow rate of the blood in my arteries and veins. My morphology became skewed in the mirror that stood right across the wooden shelves… I could not make another promise to the promise keeper that would be so easily broken or hardly kept. It would become a battle at dawn how to conduct because again I would drag her arround on my tongue or heart tables…
She would then be spoken in words and thoughts, she would rear her head and may tickle my primal composure, tease my resolve, seeking yet another bout of vengeful attention. But this time I will eschew her by all means, occupy my mind with realities and truths! I would tell her like never before, to die with the six wings she flaps and casts her spell…
Then what I see, hear, smell, touch, breathe, taste or FEEL would not count! I would have waged a war unending until my conquest is right and pure; sanctity would be then appropriate to describe my resolve! I would have defeated her and erased her from our moments and thoughts.
A word not to be spoken or heard she becomes!